I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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