Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
