Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
