i barfeds in our rink
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
