i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
