Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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