Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
