Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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