I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
