the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
