Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
