Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I love having hate sex.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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