I only kidnapped one of them. chill
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
