oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
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