But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
