Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Couch. On fire.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
