Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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