i don't like sucking hair
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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