she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Sext me about skeletons
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
