opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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