When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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