dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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