An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
