I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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