At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
