FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
