What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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