You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
operation harelip BJ is a go
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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