How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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