When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
