so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
