nut hugger
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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