SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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