uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
