Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
