one might say we're banned from that church
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
