No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
