I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
