Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We don't watch enough power rangers
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
