Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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