I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
