the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
