turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
