but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
