yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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