Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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