His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
