is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
