i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
he thought i was a dude.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
