a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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